Why haven't I blogged in so long?

The short answer is that I have been in a bad mood and exhausted for the longest time.

For the past almost three months Miranda has been waking up between two and five times a night. Part was from getting her back in the crib so I could get a bit more sleep and the other part was teething and two colds. The lack of sleep was killing me. I was so worn out I did not want to do anything. We did not even go to preschool for a few weeks because I did not want to leave the house. I believe that I was suffering from depression to. I just hated everything and everyone. I could not wait for Aaron to get home so Miranda would leave me alone for awhile. Breastfeeding sucks! She does not want to eat any solids but wants to constantly nurse and with teeth now she bites. It HURTS. She will not take a bottle and now with her almost a year we don't want her to. I hope that she starts to eat more on her own.

Monday was the worst by far. That is when the picture was taken. Miranda has a cold right now and was feeling really bad. I had put a call into her dr. to see if we could give her at least some benedryl so she could breath a little easier, it took them three hours to call me back and that whole time Miranda was crying for an hour or so until she pretty much fell asleep from exhaustion in my lap. Nothing would make her happy for long. I tried nursing her, giving her water, rocking her, steaming up the bathroom helped for a bit. When they finally called back she was just whimpering. I hate seeing her like this. The benedryl helped her a lot. She is still a little congested now but in a much better mood so I did not give her anything today.

In short these past 11 months have made me feel inadequate, useless, exhausted, depressed, and lonely.

Health update she is doing better today, still tired but she ate some blueberries and avocado for lunch.

The good things that have happened in the last three months are that Miranda now walks like a champ and is trying to run. She loves to dance on, especially on the kitchen floor. She babbles conversations and smiles when she is not sick or teething.

On the plus side we do have a really cool little girl when she is healthy. She loves to move and looks so cute when she dances.